You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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