I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
