He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
it was like eating out sand paper
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
