please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize
