We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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