I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
