is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
