have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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