Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
