her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!