I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?