I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.