Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.