he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us