I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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