some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
