we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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