im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
