they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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