smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
