better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
