Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I just googled if crying burns calories
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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