you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
