just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
