Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize