Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
