garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
he told me I talked like a deaf person
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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