Pappa wants mamma naked
no, he came in my armpit
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
