I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I just threw up on my dentist
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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