Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
