Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Even my vagina gasped.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
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