it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
