remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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