I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
