remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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