Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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