new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I will be naked everywhere
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize