Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
