margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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