College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
