she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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