She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
