But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
