I think I won the penis lottery.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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