so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
