whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
