but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
