At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
