Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
