I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
