i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
