you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
