I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
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I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
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