your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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