i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
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