I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
