If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
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