How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
