Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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