My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
whose parrot is this?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
