You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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