Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We're using joints as your birthday candles
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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