If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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