Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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