Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
