what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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