what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
