She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
