But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
