Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
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If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
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We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
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