If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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