yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
