It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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