im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
