She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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