YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
