spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
