i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
